It's been a long road. Longer than I let myself believe. I kept telling myself that it was going to be fine. And really, I have been fine. Although people have told me how beautifully I have coped with it all and recovered in such a short amount of time, I still feel like it's not over. I suppose it will never be over for me. You see, one year ago this month I spent one month in the hospital being diagnosed with cancer and getting over the surgery. I have, in the last year, dealt with having a c-scan,a mammogram,a colonoscopy\gastroscopy. I have seen many doctors for the six months of chemo that I completed. And I've seen my surgeon many times to check up on my health. And even though they have told me that I have a clean bill of health, I think about what might be around the corner. Will I ever be diagnosed again with cancer? I don't know. And I'm told not to worry about what the future might hold, but seriously, wouldn't you wonder about it? I am really lucky.......Just not health wise. Maybe I should start working out again...or maybe I should never eat junk food again. Nah. I do want to be more active but do I have the answers for why ME? No. And I will never have those answers. God has all the answers, and we are left to figure it out all by ourselves. Maybe He thinks I can handle it. Or that I am "strong" enough and have the willpower to deal with it all. So far I would say He would be right. Let's just hope and pray that I don't have much more to contend with in the future...because I am DONE.
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